pen ink and thoughts go digital.

the same old feeling

2011-01-20T13:13:00.003+08:00

LARRY - like waves, it comes upon and ebbs are sudden as it came. it simply occupies all my thoughts, leaving me completely oblivious to my surroundings.

maybe i'm just plain bored, wanting to pick a fight to pass my time.

2010-06-02T11:30:00.001+08:00

Being a manager is not easy. A manager, being the leader of a team, has to assume different roles at different times in different situations.

Planner
The higher ranking the manager, the further he has to see. He has to be able to imagine the future and work towards it. To do so, he has to establish goals for the employees to achieve.

Provider
A manager has to be the provider to all the information and materials which his teams needs for a project. He, as the leader of the team has the authority and influence to acquire things which can only be done by him.

Protector
The manager, as the leader of the team should be there to protect the team against any potential scenarios or even short term excitements which might deflect the team from important issues.

2010-05-31T23:28:00.001+08:00

LARRY - i am unable to describe how i feel. It may or may not be a good thing that i'm not angry. My heart feels crushed. I feel inclined to cry, but what use is it? I don't know why i feel this way, with emotions so mixed, and feelings so fused
together, it becomes so difficult to decode it.

adidas sundown

2010-05-26T23:21:00.004+08:00

LARRY - just did 10 kilometers in an hour and a half.

not too shabby for someone who hasn't ran in such a long time. i need to pace myself even better if i were to come out of the 42 kilometers alright. but i'm pretty confident i'll do great (=

to all my friends who are participating, break those limit barriers!

2010-05-25T21:57:00.002+08:00

LARRY - why the hell is negativity coursing through my blood again of late? i feel so much angst, so much rage, so much discontentment.

2010-05-22T20:03:00.001+08:00

LARRY - managed to get into the adidas sundown marathon in the last week! thanks gloria, for giving me the chance to run, and nicholas, for letting me run in his place (=

i have never ran a marathon before, and its pretty exciting for me. it has been pretty long since i went on my 10km jogs at night, and i should get a few practice runs before next friday.

looking at the pictures of the previous adidas sundowns, i feel motivated and even more excited to get myself going. i'm looking forward to it!

2010-05-22T18:07:00.002+08:00

LARRY - soccer fans, you guys are gonna have a kick out of this (=

2010-05-21T15:23:00.000+08:00

LARRY - tch, so much for trying to help. You are at the losing end, and we aren't looking for an apology, but a sincere change in your fucking tone and attitude. The matter, although small, isnt insignificant. You can't shoot your mouth off without considering the feelings of people who you once called friends. I think somehow now that you deserve it well.

It's entirely up to you. We don't stand to gain anything, but lose a friend in the process. But if it meant being happier for both parties, i say: go for it. We don't need a friend like you.

You pissed me off real bad for trying to help you. My patience is only this thin, and it isn't wise to let it run even thinner.

2010-05-16T21:34:00.002+08:00

LARRY - do you know what is weakness? Well, its something that i hate to have. I feel its no rampant as it is in myself, not being able to do a lot of things. And the next thing i ask myself: what can i do about it?

I cry, get stumped by words, feel helpless, and what more, being unable to go against the political assholes in class. Must i stoop to their level, and play their game against them? I suppose there are better ways of getting myself on and above them. But i cannot even get my physical self up to standard of most guys, and how about my mental state?

What can i do? I will push myself hard at the gyn, but now i will spend mpre time there, to rid myself of these plaguing thoughts. I need more mental strength to go beyond what crap i'm doing now. Question is, how?

2010-05-16T09:50:00.000+08:00

LARRY - love big things as much as i do? take a look (=

2010-05-08T21:42:00.004+08:00

LARRY - twice a week at the gym for 2 weeks, and i see the difference! i can see my wings growing already (= felt a lot more confident when i wear my shirts now (=

gotta love going to the alumni gym at 8.30 in the morning. always empty, and i can turn up my music to the loudest without having to worry about annoying the others. but too bad the card's about to expire soon; im going to miss the gym )= i shall keep going to the gym for as long as the card is still valid. it certainly pays off for getting up early and rushing to the gym.

im not going to let others belittle me again. im done being weak.

2010-04-30T13:52:00.002+08:00

LARRY - hate, fight, kill, conquer.

this is human life at its best. how true i begun to feel that it is.

2010-04-22T22:47:00.001+08:00

LARRY - oh yea, i forgot to say that, i erected a tagboard again! and the comments for my posts, so do leave something on those places before you click on the close button (=

2010-04-22T22:30:00.002+08:00

LARRY - just did a little thinking these few weeks, and it would seem i haven't improved much on myself. still snapping ever so frequently, it is a slow death for me. its such a bane, an annoyance, not being able to control my anger and emotions. it isn't easy for me to release all the negativity and ascension in a snap.

trying to understand my emotions to help control them isn't as easy as i thought, for the more caught up i am, the easier it is to lose my reasoning. i'm not sure what to do, but i have to get it down, so at least learn to extend my limits.

getting all fussed up for wusses is actually embarrassing, i feel.

2010-04-22T21:19:00.004+08:00

LARRY - today was supposed to be a really productive and fun day, but people with self centered intentions got in my way.

first of all, what wrong was it, to go to the toilet during lesson time? if you are conducting a lecture for 2 fucking hours, you did expect people to get up when nature calls, no? maybe that's rude to you, but i don't see it that way. after all, water is essential.

the next thing was at the convention center. fuck you, skinny bitch. you want something from us, you talk politely to us. i can't take shit for instructions nor orders. big fuck if you are working on SDAR's committee. we have tried to abide by your unpleasant and incessant complains about us sitting on the aisles and chairs, bu where can my guys sit if not on the floor? what the hell are we looking at if those dancesport bitches are blocking our entire view? you don't give a piss about our situation, and i shall not give a fuck.

i tried to be nice. but everyone else just seem so naive and single-minded. now i stand by my views, my thoughts, and my decisions. anybody else in the way shall be swept away, cut asunder.

the good part of my day was that i know i have real friends that care for me and cheer me up. thanks guys. it is and still will be great, having you guys around. looking forward to tomorrow's GLOW event! ((=

2010-04-21T23:21:00.003+08:00

LARRY - such hypocrisy. So much so, that even i myself have done it. I mean, why bother putting up a false and seemingly obvious front when in fact, everyone knows the truth?

Such is the way of just being mere friends.

change!

2010-04-20T22:40:00.004+08:00

LARRY - helluva things happened, came and went these past 2 months. hectic it was, but it was nothing short of fun. change is always present, and this week it remains the same.

changed my blogskin to a simpler and more, gentle, one. i like this one too, for its no frills, no nonsense navigation, making my blog more organized. i shall start this blog once again, to ensure my head doesn't go any more rusty (=

in any case, any body eying on the next generation iPhone, click on this for pics (=

is this it?
iPhone 4 Hands On

i am salivating already (=

2010-03-14T10:44:00.004+08:00

LARRY -

i was looking forward to the altec lansing imt800, but this RED cutesy 30 centimeter has got me staring. (=

BOOGIEbox

2010-02-18T00:06:00.001+08:00

LARRY - one day to make up for the past few days isn't cutting it.

i miss you darling. ))=

exams!

2010-02-17T13:17:00.003+08:00

LARRY - exams here coming soon, and man, were they stupid to have it right after CNY. i mean even if we have it a week later isn't going to hurt much. having to forgo the usual 2 weeks of study before exams, they did better make it easier to score in the exams.

till now, i have finished most of my DT and have started on INV. doing inventory management so so much more fun, with a mix of more calculation than just pure memory work of DT. either way im making good progress, but still not good enough.

even so, i can't wait to have dinner with darling later in the evening. i haven't seen her in a while, and my head isn't working well since i'm digressing most of the time. it appears my music do make me feel better and concentrate harder.

see you in the evening bitch! ((=

flytrap!

2010-01-21T09:39:00.002+08:00

LARRY - my brother got me a venus flytrap yesterday, and before i can even do anything, he has triggered all the leaves to close. so much for seeing it in action. caught a moth last night, and actually got to see it eat it up. it was way cool, and i'm going to get more bugs for it.

and the best thing is, i also received a razer orochi mouse form my goddad yesterday through post! how good is that? damn is the mouse bomb or what.

2010-01-18T21:38:00.004+08:00

LARRY - well this blog ain;t dead yet. i suppose if you have nothing good to say, its better not to say it at all! either way, this is something to laugh about in the meanwhile when i amass other more interesting stuff to write about:

someone buy this man a new kitchen!

aftermath

2010-01-05T09:21:00.004+08:00

LARRY - holidays has ended 2 days ago, and its off to the banal and mundane lives that we were leading. my holidays were fruitful, i'd say, having to have spent time with my cousins and ate great food and drank a little. but i'd say it's good to be back in school and continue the ever-withstanding struggle for better grades.

first day of school, and we have a new PBL from QMGT. not surprising, but i felt good having to do this again, since it will provide me with yet another benchmark against the rest. now it's not only being better than the people in one class, but all the classes for the cohort. it was rather intriguing that the more fucked up people has got all the good grades and stuff, while the rest, the average joes, has got to be in terms with their sunken fates.

i gots to do better if i do not want to end up like this. its about time i took the lead.

PISS.

2009-12-22T23:04:00.000+08:00

LARRY - i'm not in the best of mood these days, so don't piss me off.

2009-12-08T20:37:00.000+08:00

LARRY - you know, today really felt weird. i seem unable to feel any definite emotion. it is like i bluffed and pretended at most emotions. i felt that it just isn't me.maybe i am feeling bad from the lack of sleep and irritable, but it seems i cant control that anxiety i feel inside of me.

i didn't exactly feel like anything. i just felt that there's a small patch of something missing. i suddenly have little drive for anything. not even games.

i'm not certain about anything, but i hope after tonight's sleep, i will feel better. after all, it's my darling's and my 3rd month.

there you go, i felt the light.(=

i love you!

2009-11-23T22:53:00.002+08:00

LARRY - shit and all, and my darling still loves me all than ever. i really appreciate that darling, and no matter what, i still love you (=

anomaly?

2009-11-18T09:06:00.005+08:00

LARRY - i need some time to myself. i feel as though my efforts and time spent was for nought. why am i doing all the cover ups, all the nice things or supposed good intentions for people? i never did get credited for any, only to be scolded, or put down through verbal or physical means. having done so since young, i am afraid of certain outcomes - failure, dissent, warring, and desolation. i only wanted everyone together, or at least a comfortable environment and place for people to be.

am i considered as one? i never get the rough ends, only the nice ones. its great, but this way, i'm halfway short of knowing. i guess i'm not. i cannot even measure up to the others around. i feel i am always fucking lacking, and no matter what i do or can do, it is useless. it brings nothing - outcomes nil, only irritation and annoyance. i am talking about you too, audrey. is it me just me, who is utterly incapable of being a person?

after this, all would be forced, and either way it would not be desired. but am i there to fulfill that one part that is lacking, and solely for that?

i tried my best, but still it is not enough. while i sob miserably in my core, i will not shed any bodily. while i feel loyal, steadfast, it would seem it would sooner or later perish within ma, only to leave the dark masses of hatred and melancholy. i turned dark once, and it would seem to be inviting me in.

my choice song would pretty much say about the veiled lies.

THIS LYING WORLD
Be afraid of infection
Be scared of evil ways
Be scared for your protection
Best watch your every step
Instinctual appeal to fear
Collapse and paralyze
Far gone is good intention
Smokescreen to commercialize

Teller of tales spin us a line
Front page impersonation
Teller of tales, spin us a line

Cities burn
The skies will fall
Civilization reduced to nothing
Disease will spread to all
We buy so we survive
Feel the acid rain corrode

I want to take a picture
Our lives would look disguised
I want to take a picture
Our lives would look disguised
I want to take a picture
Our lives would look disguised

Wash away this lying world
Terminate this iron fist

Strangled are we
By the bastards of facist culture
Strangled are we
By the hands of our own people

On the stage
It's "our lives"
On the stage grows a mountain
As we stumble on we forget
On the stage grows a mountain
As we stumble on we forget

Steel toed this path of corruption
Conceal and steer our minds away
Steer our minds away

BAG!

2009-11-17T13:31:00.008+08:00

LARRY - if you guys have seen a similar bag around, do tell me! (=

PANGOLIN BAG

belonging?

2009-11-16T22:35:00.002+08:00

LARRY - you know, sometimes its not all about belonging to a certain clique, group or society that really gives you an identity; its actually what you do as a person that gives you your identity.

so what if the group or association does not seem to recognize you as one of their own? as long as you are doing the right things and the real people appreciates and acknowledges your actions, its the right course to take.

i never actually like being mainstream or to go with the flow. i make my own currents, with or without the eddy currents that follows behind.

i don't know.

2009-11-10T16:29:00.002+08:00

LARRY - you know there are times when you are utterly concerned but you cannot get the truth? all we get was the look that never lands on your face, nor an explanation that cannot satisfy, because it was simply too shallow to be one.

what could you have done? i believe, there's nothing you can do. you cannot pry from them. they are too valued to treated like this. it is not anger that comes within; it is angst.

2009-11-09T23:09:00.002+08:00

LARRY - today was our 2nd month, and pretty good there! still nuts and in love blindness still. we didn't exactly get to anywhere or did anything to celebrate, because we attended the red camp briefing which turned out a little sucky.

either way, it is not what we get to do on the day itself, but how we feel for each other and think for one another. we still have pretty much more to achieve in terms of understanding and adapting, but it seems we are doing fine.

and darling, remember it is not the rings that matter, it is what memories and feelings you hold within it.

I LOVE YOU, YOU SMELLY ASSSS.

2009-11-07T10:58:00.001+08:00

LARRY - thanks guys, for the well wishes, cake smashing and gorging, taupok, pole fuck and all! you guys really made my day. fortunately i was already much better, if not i wouldn't be able to enjoy the torture. (=

and darling, sorry for what i said. i love you, for all you did for me, and i really really appreciated it.

I LOVE YOU DARLING!

hard sick.

2009-11-02T21:39:00.003+08:00

LARRY - for the past few days or so, i have been down with a slight, yet persistent fever. it is really annoying, because the frequent naps i took give me pimples, and i could not meet with my dear girl. at least i am usually better at the times where i had to be, like to gma's birthday dinner and the ubin trip.

so far so good, with my last dose of paracetamol at four o'clock. the water i forced down my throat seemed to be helping me, albeit the frequent trips to the toilet.

no matter. i just want to get better on my feet, so i can start with my weights and running routine again. love my darling, for being very concerned (=

2009-10-26T16:26:00.002+08:00

LARRY - i know this is pretty late, but i can't keep it in anymore.

FUCK YOU RIS LOW.

take your BOOMZ somewhere else where people even like your butt ugly face.

((=

reopens!

2009-10-21T22:06:00.002+08:00

LARRY - school's been a bore like always, but hey, it was great seeing everybody back in school, albeit some asses.

the modules are going to be pretty dry, or so it seems, so i gots to keep being on my toes if i want to do better. either way, it's a fresh start, so i'm going to start doing stuff early.

first month!

2009-10-09T22:42:00.002+08:00

LARRY - happy anniversary darling! it wasn't much today, but i guess you enjoyed it (=

today i prepared salmon with lemon and dill, baked spud wedges and tomato and basil pasta sauce from scratch! it didn't exactly come out the way i wanted to because i overdid the sauce on the fire, but i know what to expect the next time. fortunately, the salmon came out great (=

spent quite a bit of time preparing the meal, and my dear girl fell asleep while waiting and watching her drama show. after wards, we cleaned up and washed up, and headed for plaza sing to get our pair of rings. the darn laser engraving is going to take four damned days to complete, and i want it now!

after a little walking and talking, we headed back home. tomorrow's going to be a bust day her (=

love you my darling!

weird ass note 2.

2009-10-07T21:16:00.002+08:00

LARRY -

banality, soon will strike;
Will our ardour fade?
Inquiring the uncertain from the trenches of the core,
Yang's resolve, without any variation,
Was to stay fastened to the one
That is worth holding on to.

unyielding, i must be.
i love you, my darling girl. ((=

2009-10-04T23:16:00.002+08:00

LARRY -

Yearn,
To construct its adamancy, in the time endless
For the reciprocality of our mutuality.
None, of opposing entities shall be detrimental,
As the duo will triumph and overcome all.
Let our enamoredness be within, limitless,
For the heart is almost completely sunken in supposed loss,
In thoughts of you.

Any person who understands my weird ass note, i will treat you a drink (=

Love you darling! ((=

love.

2009-10-04T09:46:00.004+08:00

LARRY - " this racing beast in my chest, of which you will never leave. "

<3!

pahang!

2009-10-02T21:33:00.003+08:00

LARRY - we have all returned back from pahang safely, albeit with a few bruises, cuts and scrapes from our adventure there. it was pretty fun! i could get used to the laid back life they live there, but one thing i hated was the foul smells that seems to be emanating from everywhere.

my experience there was something i needed to break the cycle of monotony of the lives we all lead in the city. as i mentioned before, change is not necessarily bad. having seen waterfalls, scenic mountainous plantations, braved through dangling branches and eaten the best durians, it certainly will be worth coming back for another time.

i love you too my dear. ((=

it ends.

2009-09-26T18:54:00.002+08:00

LARRY - yesterday was the fucking end of the math carnival. i didn't get another chance to say the last segment where joanne and i were to do our stuff. but in the end, we still had good enough air time to practise a little more during the games period. and i thought we had gotten much better. it ain't so bad. (=

so the guys who were waiting for me and i went down to jon's party. we had booze and nice food, actually, and we saw jon having a great time being dared. man, was i exciting. at the end of the day, most of us went back home with reddened faces.

it will be off for pahang tomorrow, and i say i'm a little jumpy about it. i haven't finished packing my stuff, so i will get to it. (=

revival!

2009-09-24T23:08:00.002+08:00

LARRY - okay, time to revive the entries to my blog yea?

so what is happening lately that had me really shagged out is the math carnival. i have always wanted to try doing the very party-like style of an mc, but it would seem i need all the practice and evaluation i can get. sure, i can do the formal stuff alright, but this is the part that would and can bring me up somewhere.

so the first day of the carnival, it was rather bad actually. wasn't in the mood, and i could get my act cleaned up right. max had pinned high hopes on me, but i know i quite made him feel otherwise. either way, its for my experience, and from this, i would learn to be better.

the second day was a tad better, but ain't going anywhere far. its my turn to hog the mike and everything with sushan, but we still weren't quite up to it yet. the good thing is i feel more confident with the guys pressing me on.

and today, i was given the task to do the prize presentation ceremony for the math proficiency test, and i guess, if i had to rate myself, i would give a modest six out of ten. i couldn't do the start of the tension-building part quite as i wanted to, but the ending part with joanne seemed pretty okay to me. all i know from today, is that i gots to learn how to speak with more life in my words. (=
vivian's performance today with the light and mic, to everybody's surprise, was astounding. so damned natural, but it kinda scared even me a little with her aunty style. ((=

tomorrow is judgment day. literally. it will be time to prove that we are for the job; all that we have learnt and gone through for these past few days must be put into use by us. i want to stand out pretty much more, so i gots to try harder.

2009-09-19T19:46:00.001+08:00

LARRY - a little something from the book we read at borders at wheelock: "there are two things i want to hold; one is your hand, and the other is your other hand,"

((=

weights time!

2009-09-16T22:25:00.003+08:00

LARRY - today was a pretty fun and sweet day! i really enjoyed myself (=

just say love only. ((=

2009-09-12T17:05:00.001+08:00

LARRY - second post of my saturday : woke up at about seven today, and i really didn't know what to do for the day. And so i asked teng teng if she wanted to service her laptop, and off we went. Met at 1, and we hurried there for it closes at 2. Eventually we got there in time, and the laptop sent for repairs.

I wanted to try out some earphones i was extremely interested in, and i went to plaza sing to check them out. I loved a pair UE super-fi 5 earphones more than my Grado, but the price was just to extravagant, even for me. But i really hated hearing ambient noise, and so i wanted a change. It seemed like every three buses i took, one will have a noisy baby in it.

I tried five different earphones for more than an hour, an i found a audio technica one that appeases my ears. Relatively cheaper than the ones i wanted, i could sell my Grado and get that. On this note : anybody wants my Grado?

2009-09-12T17:04:00.001+08:00

LARRY - as most of the guys know, it has been pretty fun and very fulfilling. Work at SEAB was rather interesting and amusing, with credit leaning towards certain weirdos and regular, average joes like samuel and junwei, as well as the guys respectively, and also not to forget the other people we've worked with.

So how about the fulfilling part? Well, i dont have to say much now, do i? (=

I don't actually mind about going home later or get pinched by the occasional bangala asshole or two, because it was all worth it. To me, it doesn't exactly matter. Giving up the extra time i have at home for time with her is one of the best deals i can have.

It has been a long time since i have felt this way, but even so, it is slightly different. But i never did say it wasn't good - its fucking better. Much, much better. (=

Well my darling, see you soon, yea? ((=

2009-09-02T00:05:00.000+08:00

LARRY - undeniably, it was absolutely euphoric for me.

The day started out having me going to the HP headquarters to get the charger for my laptop, and also because i had to return kevin's one. The trip and all was pretty smooth, then met kevin, and afterwards went for lunch with clark, huiping, stanley, rizal and jiaming. I didnt make it in time for teacher's day though, but tjere's always other times.

Went to queensway for a little walk, and i went to look for the timbuk2 bag i wanted. It appears someone bought it off, and i was feeling a little disapointed. But the store guy told me he would check with the main facilty, and he called me after half an hour, saying that there is still more back there, and on top of it, decided to sell it at 140 instead of 168! Damn, it's great.

Went to pass huiping her photo frame, and when we reached her estate, it rained, and it didnt seem like the sky is going to let it up. So huiping invited us to her house, where we stayed for about two and a half hours and watched dramas.

Reached hone at 6.30, where i prepared and had dinner, and set off for je. Stanley and i had a little sonething up our sleeves, but most of it on his. (= met the rest of the guys twenty minutes after set meeting time, and we sat the train to changi. It was rather fast, or at least to me. We had a little snack at jollibean's, and waited for the other guys to arrive at some food court. At midnight, stanlet and i tried to pull off some stunt, but apparently i had come into the picture far too early. But at least we still did make some fun.

Went to the third terminal to pass the night, and that's where we finished up the cards, stuff and rested. Later in the morning, we sent the wuhan goers off, and sadly, none of who we wanted cried. Oh well (=

After that we dispersed and the three of us made our way to acer to replace huiping's laptop charger. It didnt take very long to get to our turn, since it was rather early. We hurried out of the acer service center, since there was a disatisfied and cheapo ass who didnt want to pay for replacement parts.

We parted ways, and eventually got home for rest. The three of us met again at about 3 in NP to get the shirts and stuff for the run on saturday. Went home straIght afterwards, but with my hormones working, i didnt feel tired at all. I acty got about doing weights, and a jog in the night. How's that for an uplifting sensation?

I loved every bit of it. (=

last.

2009-08-26T20:38:00.000+08:00

LARRY - my last paper is tomorrow, and i'm a little ecstatic - man, after that, i can spend my whole time doing whatever i want! i will have so much time to dota, go weights, jog and reading! man, the thought of it is making me pretty energized.

WSS seemed like a pretty easy paper - as long as you understand instead of memorizing the points. i may be as able as those who memorize, but i do understand the concepts. i feel it's going to be a a smooth ride.

i'm just going to finish my first round of revision, and i shall rest for the night.

it's obvious. it's present. it's evident.

grew.

2009-08-24T18:33:00.000+08:00

LARRY - left it unchecked and unhindered, and it would seem that it has grown. but was it purely hormonal or was it something that i have yearned for? i always thought that it was due to biological factors, and nothing less.

final two papers are up in a day and a half, and luckily, i had done the harder parts of the past papers since i got back home. i still need more memorization though.

no matter, i have gotten more into the mood for studying since late afternoon.

come quick, and be gone exams! (=

darn same stuff.

2009-08-21T21:29:00.000+08:00

LARRY - man, its same old, same old. the only difference is that now is exam period, and it would seem that its going to get boring. but heck, i have to do well.

some plans i already made are to work during the holidays, and to get the timbuk2 bag i wanted, as well as to put myself even more into my exercise routines, enjoy myself in pahang, cook even more sophisticated dishes (i want to learn how to make tomato-based sauces for pasta from scratch,) probably if possible, update my blog's outlook with the use of photoshop, and to find out what i really want inside.

most of the guys are feeling the hard reality and pressure from the exams, and it shows. i just seem more tired than usual, but i'm not as stressed. come on guys, press on! its only 3 days of exams for most of you, so force all the information and theoretical studies deep into your heads! gogogogogogo and ace those exams people! (=

MOTIVATE ME!

2009-08-16T12:17:00.001+08:00

LARRY - my book really did motivate me. the next month or so is going to be difficult, but that isn't gonna stop me from becoming better.

for my assignments and exams, i'm going to work hard for it. i'll do up everything by next week, but i will hand up ECOM's due homework today. rush this shit for a week or two, and i can go to pahang guilt free. its not so much about being top dog now; its about being content with myself, and in the process, be a more significant player in class.

as for the dreaded 6th september, i will do my weights wholeheartedly, pushing if necessary, to build more. i will go to that stupid great grandma dinner, and show that our little part of the family will not be trodden on by the supposedly higher classed one. representing our family there, i will want to impress them, and hopefully making them think twice about antagonizing my family. by the way asses, thanks for compelling me to do my exercises (=

man, i feel so much happier. i have motivation and drive to carry this plan out, and not being so avenger-like and negative.

whoopee, my mom got me more strawberries!

Walkathon.

2009-08-16T10:14:00.000+08:00

LARRY - well, yesterday we went to the walkathon organized by some BA faction of Ngee Ann, and well i can say is that, it didn't went as well, but i noticed that the organizer herself, was outstanding, seemingly that she went about holding the whole event herself. 'could learn a little from her.

so the day started at 7.30, and went about preparing to get out and meet stanley at clementi. i awoke feeling very agitated; i have been dreaming about janice giving me bad grades and i really felt like giving it to her. damn, as if ECOM wasn't enough. luckily, it wasn't reality as of yet, but i'm quite unsettled. grabbed a waffle and headed on out.

we went on to commonwealth station and met huiping, and continued on to doby ghaut station. we bought soy milk, and phoned the other two girl that were to meet up. it appears they were not quite awake and were really tired, so they would not come.

at first at the event, it seemed like a good thing to stay at home, because it took so long for the people to get organized, and there were a lot more helper and volunteers then participants. either way, we had some nice sights like the tombs and a little history of Singapore, and enjoyed the scenery there. relaxing!

after the event and all, we met kevin for lunch, and some of us dispersed for home. as for stanley and i, we went to queensway to take a look at shoes and shirts.

quite much about yesterday, but it was great to go out with friends.

2009-08-15T22:51:00.000+08:00

LARRY - maybe something's still there. i'm not so sure, but i'll leave that till after the exams. (=

UPDATED!

2009-08-13T23:55:00.005+08:00

LARRY - HOOJAH! spent 5 hours doing up my blog, and took especially long to perfect the picture that i had replaced. actually the main reason why i wanted to change it was that i was afraid when the author if the picture took them off, my blog will be left ugly. so i went and signed up for photobucket, and then replicate the headphones with a picture of my SR125i, and put in the scarlet words in. it seems better now.

found out how to and got rid of the super annoying faded effect filter, and the only reason it looks better on firefox is that it cannot identify the html codes, but either way, it seemed to look for... smooth and compliant with IE8.

i tried toying around with shades of red through the whole blog design; every red text are different. i went to look for help on the net to make double fonts into my blog. i used tahoma for the blog text, and for the information and links i tried arial, and it would seem good that now they are more separated.

it turns out, it was actually that simple. web publishing is simple. time to sleep!

thanks.

2009-08-13T20:05:00.001+08:00

LARRY - this post is dedicated to all that stood by me when i was down. especially huiping, for cheering me up and doing the whole video for ECOM by herself.

thanks guys, for your support. it is uplifting to have friends like you guys.

love ya all!

Negativity strikes.

2009-08-13T19:18:00.006+08:00

LARRY - damn, it seems negative for me. the truth of my grades plunging even lower than last semester's really gave me a kick in the arse. is this the true reality we are about to face in our working lives? if it is, i will have to adapt and learn.

no matter though, i will try harder still, and be better where it really matters. i really must learn from Jun Jie though, he's like the best report writer and his presentations are top notch, and no doubt, his powerpoint slides are the actual thing that hits you right in the face. kudos to you man. your work is just outstanding and impressive.

selfishness within the class is rearing its even uglier side of its face. there's no stopping now; we have all taken sides, and have had allies. mere wars it were and will have, over the most minute matters. i will stand my ground and judge who's right, and stick by them. but i will still support my TEAM LMGT mates.

we as the TEAM, have improved considerably. no longer being identified as slackmen, we pose a real challenge to those who held the throne of caliber for the last few semesters. but as for i, will be the one that will intrude into their territory and have a taste of achievement. it will be a though one.

a song that i got a few days ago really said it all -

Pushing hard each day
Keep our individuality
Elevate your mind
Strength within is what you need to find.

titled rebirth of the temple by silent civilian, and i just added into my iphone on the right so you can have a taste of it. pretty nice actually, but i'm not so sure how it has any link to being strong from within, and preserving one's ingenuity. but what i think is that it is to tear down the ropes of trends and how it is in society that binds everyone tightly and firmly, and to set a new place of worship that makes it word of law to be unique and special. lovely. in this sense, i believe it was targeted at christanity. don't quite like it myself. (=

i know i'm a tad stressed for the exams, when i find myself indulging in mountains of food. reminds me of o level days! pretty sweet back then. either way, i can't wait for what lies ahead for us during the long holiday. experience of the pahang trip, the uncertain probability of working at PSEA, outings with TEAM LMGT.

feeling far thought gone, was merely suppressed, and when it returned, it was ephemeral.
lasting only briefly, it seemed to have dissipated even further.
who knows when it will be back, but taking chances will not help.

gosh, its gonna be nothing else but absolute fun, as well as a journey of constant learning of life that lies far ahead. i love this cursed lives we all lead. ((=

granting myself strength.

2009-08-07T20:14:00.007+08:00

it is only in us, that we can determine the things we seek.
it is only in us, that we can grant ourselves strength.
it is only in us, that we can understand our annoyances.
it is only in us, that we can calm ourselves and recuperate.
and it is only in us, that we can make a difference.

you see, it is not which God or deity entities that we find solace and resolution, but in the very one that searches for answers that has them. you just have to look deeper, and see what is the better meaning.

i have decided not to be angry or anything, and realized i'm mostly just disappointed and frustated, maybe shocked that even when i had given real hard thought i had it all going good, and it did not. i must find the greater meaning in what comes. i can choose either to be very fucked up and be all red, or i can reassess and make the situation better.it is always up to us to choose which path is it. with this, i shall improve myself even further.

i love my weights ((=

down man.

2009-08-07T19:59:00.001+08:00

LARRY - lately has been just down for me; finding out that my efforts to do better had been in vain. how am i to prove that i'm better? what is it that i'm not doing right? everyone in the class had copied data and complete sentences from the lecturers' slides,and got a better fucking grade than me, while i thought of stuff and did my own reasoning for presentations and reports. does copying make better people? what ever happened to originality and individuality? i like being an individual - and i get marked down because i'm different?

maybe i had been off center for my topics, but give me credit for my originality. next time i shall follow closely to the motherfucking slides (like i haven't been doing,) and do better. that's is the only resolution i can make now.

video for ECOM went pretty fucked, and the bitch used the freshmen's video to outdo and humiliate us. watch out, you just might get the best video yet. no one pisses me off and gets away with it. fuck your stupid computer, i did my breadtalk proposition, and have deleted it, and now you tell me you do not have our report. get your fucking computer fixed. the stuff my classmates always sent to you never gets through.

i have something that's in me that needs to be let out. i don't actually think its pure rage, but something more complex even for me to understand myself. either way, fifteen minutes more, and weights it shall be.

maybe i will feel good after it.

POST.

2009-07-28T23:22:00.003+08:00

LARRY - today was a pretty amusing day! went to school late, and had a small lunch with my classmates, and we proceeded to do our OPC and FPD assignments. apparently we got sidetracked like every other time, but nonetheless still able to get a few things done. all of us we going to help teng teng and huiling with their WSS Assignment presentation, but they did rather good. i was pretty impressed by the simplicity of their slides, and their concise presentation, not to forget the on site drawing of the layout of the warehouse they proposed. i couldn't have done better.

FPD was actually free time to us, since the lecturer was pretty slack about his teaching, as long as you did his stuff. actually all of us we 4 lab tutorials behind schedule, but he didn't quite mind, except to remind us every tuesday. lingli came in late today, and bought us the makan we wanted from macdonald's. i ate my apple pie all over my laptop, and i think i haven't rid of every flake out of my keyboard yet.

presentation time for the two, and yea, it was good. furthermore they were able to fend off every vocal ballistic missile, set for the trajectory of the girls. sweet shit man. i shall continue in the morning; i'm really worn out at the moment.

Well im still feeling tired today, but i shall continue with yesterday's post, as well as today's. After the presentation, some of us headed up to the MDE office, either to have the gamesday debrief or to gather to do assignments. We sat around till 6 plus, and had dinner. Later, we split to go NP strings or to go to study.

Study time was really good, having completed 90% of my OPC assignment. This is one assignment that i had to do on my own; junwei left NP, but he isn't much help so i'm not complaining. As usual, i puty slides all red, black and white.

So that's it for yesterday, apart from the late jog i had that made me really tired. At least it was a pretty good one. (=

today i had a really good time at french. lucky for me, teng teng and the rest told me not to, and it turned out cool. besides, it would seem that i can read the words, more or less. we learnt how to say colors in french, as well as clothes and euro. french class passed rather quickly, possibly because it was fun, and that we wasted mroe than half an hour doing the dating violence survey.

after class, met huiping and we both went home. slept for a good forty five minutes, had dinner, and set to improve my OPC slides for the next day's presentation. by about nine o'clock i was done, and i pushed my weakly-feeling body to do. turned out very productive, and i felt even better for the next one hour, but the next morning, heavy arms. ugh. i'm going to rest on the weekend.

in between sets, my classmates and i were deciding on our schedule for the next day, as well as frisbee. lingli wanted to go quite badly, so i shall bring my shoebag the next day. hopefully the guys can finish their OPC presentation slides, so that we can go to queensway to do a little shopping. i was hoping to get shorts and maybe tights. i want some shirts too!

to town!

2009-07-25T11:33:00.001+08:00

LARRY - today was a pretty nice day and everthing, and we went to town in the evening. jiaming gave all 6 of us a sweet ride throughout, and it was pretty fun! his driving was actually great, but we could sense he was a little jittery on the road. having a total of seven of us in the car wasn't exactly of definition of cozy. at one point of time lingli took the boot, and it was fun! it was pretty amusing too, to see her in there.

so we went to orchard central, takashimaya, wisma, peninsula and plaza singapura respectively. it was great, maybe because i got to sample many headphones. utlimately our goal today was to see what headphones lingli would like, a bag jiaming wanted, and i myself wanted to see what they offered at the nikeid studio, as well as the prices of recabling and an entry level portable amplifier. jiaming and i got want we wanted, but lingli was still lost for headphones.she liked the skullcandies, but she really preferred the one she saw in some other girl's head, but it would seem the brand of that particular one was hard to find. i myself was amazed by what the cheap skullcandies can offer. at only about 75 dollars, it was somewhat almost there with my burnt in FC700. the new sennheiznier line of headphones really did hit the spot on the price performance ratio. the bose model fared well too, but in all, i still like my over sized grados.

in between all the squeezing and travelling on the road, we had the famous rochor soy bean milk, and it was really great! we drank and ate till we were quite full. i'm glad we haven't eaten dinner yet. i haven't been to town in a while, and i was quite amazed what was going on there. the cathay, orchard central and the ion were beautiful buildings. oh yea and the mention of the cathay reminds me of stephanny, we saw her working at billy bombers, with the cute looking waiter and waitress attire. we said hello to her from the other side of the glass panels, and set off.

it was rather fun, but we ended up reaching home quite late. i myself touched down at eleven- twenty, and i wonder what time did the others reach home. i was pretty shagged, so i took to the bed after a quick bathe.

HIM.

2009-07-23T10:45:00.001+08:00

LARRY - well today its the first day i skipped class of this term. Knowing that i couldn't sleep last night, i wont be going to school early. I woke up at nine, and ate breakfast and lazed around. I nearly slept and. Got out of the house at 9.45. Walked to my bus stop, and look who was there! Its was the git who bullied me in my younger days. Lucky there was paul to intervene. Thanks man.

I dont usually see him around the estate, but he lives within the estate, and his block is next to mine. I'm not complaining, but whenever i do, i feel the surge of adrenaline coursing through my veins. I was so raised that i am ready to give it back to him. I saw him with a shoe bag, meaning he actually goes to gym now!

skinny piece of shit, i wont let you outdo me. I am going to be tougher, stronger and faster than you. I may be weak back then, but now i am going to get real pumped.

Just watch where you tread.

TEE.

2009-07-23T00:20:00.002+08:00

LARRY - i'm done with my report, as well as presentation for the WSS assignment. i managed a peek at my marks from Mr Wee (seriously, i was peeping at the file with has our scores in them) and saw that i had an 80% for the presentation. alright!

our presentation was pretty much ripped from our report, and i just rephrased the points. i did not finish my slides in time for class, so after we we done with it (we had a test, so i cant do anything about the slides) i rushed to the lab where we are going to have our presentation. i just ran trough them, updating small details, as well as putting a simple theme on, just in time for she arrived. anyways, this proves that having content and relevancy is key to a great presentation, not just simply piling on the eye candy.

so people are to ask questions to get participation marks. i loved the one teeli asked about not being able to store certain clothes like gowns in boxes, and what are we to do? i blurted out, saying that since our imaginary company has the same relativity to Nike, i shot back " i didn't know Nike made gowns," the very reason i never do these kind of replies is that i'm already aggressive; my looks and sometimes the way i speak, i very often intimidate or even piss people. so i forced myself not to do this. but for the very same reason those people are desperate to get the stupid participation marks, i had to resort to this. sorry to the other people, if i offended you. i'm going to try to help my guys, who are presenting, out tomorrow. i'm not going to let them get get pummeled with questions from them.

today i went to queensway to get guys to make the jerseys for ourselves. apparently i'm getting a little bored already, since there is so much waiting time, and i can't seem to get up with a great design. and now i realized, i am spending time and effort in designing the jersey, to impress the guys i don't like. i feel like a dumb fuck.

now it's late, and i'm waiting for my downloads to complete. it's only about 25 percent more to go. hurry, hurry bittorrent, because i want new music to listen to tomorrow on my way to school!

anybody who has a great idea for jersey design, or as a matter of fact any potential design, do tell me! thanks people!

update.

2009-07-20T20:42:00.002+08:00

LARRY - this far, it has been pretty fun. tree top walk was really great and relaxing, and a new experience. makes me think twice about sky diving.

so woke up on the day at seven thirty, and was out of the house by eight o'clock. i snuffed my running shoes, shirt, headphones and wallet into my scarlet timbuk2. was a tight squeeeze, but it held everything just fine. got on the bus at ten past eight, where i was plugged into august burns red playlist. was a pretty cool band, except that it was mostly goring, so i was kinda turned off.

reached ang mo kio station at eight forty, and decided to go to the hub to relax and enjoy some air con. it was pretty peaceful there, until i broke the silent air with avenged sevenfold's bat country. i really wanted to get a cup of blended coffee at starbucks(or was it coffee bean?), but the stall was still closed. i had to go meet the guys anyways.

met the lot of us outside cheers, and off we went to the place. it was macrichie reservoir and rifle range connected, and i didn't know that for the longest time. the place was renovated, and they even had put asphalt on the very spot i used to train with my secondary schools track and field team. it brought back good memories, how i wanted to be just as fast as my peers.

we took about five hours, to walk through the path, and back to the starting point.was about two thirty then, and we wen to sumo house for a quick lunch, and headed home with teng teng.reached home and knocked out for a good two hours then, and went for dinner and continued with the WSS assignment report we had to hand in today.apparently we were one of the few to finish it this fast, and now we have time to do other stuff.

and so today, i decided to go on with the idea of making the class tee, and went on to make a proposal for the class to see. eventually with further discussion with teng teng and the team, we had our white jersey to a red nike one, and with a classic jersey in mind.i really wanted a tee, because our last one was rushed and didn't come out as nice, and i wanted some individuality and identity(like always), and am willing to show it off. i already finished the design as of this moment, and i had some people to take a look at it, and gave pretty positive comments on it. sweet shit man, it's gonna turn out cool.

i really hope that the rest of the guys in the class would see to my proposal. i really liked it, not because i did it, but it would be super awesome if anyone wore it. i still have to check the prices and all, but am certain i can propose to them by the end of the week.

okay, let's return to work now, shall we?

GRADO GRADO.

2009-07-16T22:58:00.003+08:00

LARRY - yep, i finally got my long awaited grado SR125i! was kinda itching to listen to them all evening, but i was out with leonora, so that can wait. i rushed down after OPC in a cab and met her at causeway point, and we den went to KFC for dinner. damn, i have been eating too much fast food this week.

she shared with me where and what tattoos she wanted, and i asked her about her new boyfriend. man, was he fit. so we were swearing and talking like we haven't seen each other in centuries, and ate the oily, but satisfying, fried chicken parts.

we played photo hunt in KFC for about an hour and a half, and we went to stereo electronics to get my grado. it was some good shit, having heard more detail than my audio technica FC 700. i bought a 1/4" to 1/8" adapter since it was a fucking large plug that was used for amps and karaoke.

we also saw some sweet headphones from skullcandy, but it was all humped up bass, and it didnt make much difference from a extra bass earbuds. i wanted a case for my grado to snuggle in, but it was another 32 dollars. i decided to go another time for that.

we then went to return the bride wars DVD leonora rented from video ezy, while i dropped in a cheque from my dad for his business. we parted at about 8.30, and boy, was it fun!

so i went home, and my dad sampled my headphones. he gave it a B-, to my understanding and interpretation, because of the increase of detail and bass from my previous headphones. he let me try my headphones on his amp, and it sounded so natural and just made me go wow. amps really do make a huge difference.

now i'm going to let my headphones get some burning in. bass-filled playlist, you're up next!

MAD.

2009-07-13T14:21:00.002+08:00

LARRY - i blew up in class. but i ask myself: is it right to blame my classmates for not presenting early?

well that's a no. my tuition teacher has always told me: if you want something so badly, you will do anything to get it.

i want to show them i'm not some bottom rung, spoilt kid who listens to metal. i can do more than any one as you can.

but at this rate i'm going, the rest of them are going are going to get bored of my short fuse and shun me. i hate being overtaken.

ugh.

2009-07-13T00:00:00.003+08:00

LARRY - i can't sleep. I found out that i miss the very person left. I read last msg that she sent that i always avoided reading but kept it in my inbox. Fuck my typical conscience.

But whatever happens, i'm not going back. Its was a choice that i made, selfishly. I'm always like that. I'm always the "logical and straightforward one. Heck, hope she's doing well without me.

Let this be my last time i look back.

the game plan.

2009-07-06T18:27:00.002+08:00

LARRY - today was the same as the other. you guys know what adjective i'm going to use. so anyways like every other day, i'm pretty restless, and it would seem my classmates are already tired babysitting me.

felt pretty good today, because we were the first to present our stuff for SMRKT, and unlike every other time, we were the last. and i hate to let that group take all the glory. being snobbish is something i really dislike. i knew i had the advantage of my loud voice, so i pretty much triumphed over them in my presentation, but their research was just a lot. as always. at least i knew i did great today. but i have to thank jun jie for making his slides very much able to relate to, and the simplicity and affirmative way he went really topped the list. this had gave us a great advantage today, although our overall marks was lower than average. it was still good though.

to say a little on snobbiness, it just sometimes you just try to be funny or making an effort and this person comes along and just acts so mature that really gets me fired up. i'm just trying to get the class altogether and ultimately bond , so just help me there. so ease up on your attitude or i'll really fuck you from behind. so what if you get higher marks than most of us? it's actually what you think only. we we tried hard enough, we will surpass you. any day you please.

went home soon after the last class, and met some kid on the bus who knew me from pinata camp. it was a great feeling, but i don't recognize him the slightest bit. he's from L102, but hey i have no idea. sorry man. but thanks for saying hello.

read my vincent ng's book on his ten weeks of his exercise regime, i have definitely gotten a better idea of what to do. my actually post today is to have my goals out here, so it's harder for me to retract it, and have a better go at it attaining it. as for diet i got it covered, but as for the exercise plan i would need to work harder on it. all i know is that i have to lose some weight so that it would show better.

so my goal - to reach 63kg from 65kg in 60 days from now, and go alternate days i do weights and go jogging. eat lesser and to get more protein in a 55:25:20 ratio (protein in the middle). to do the weights till failure. pretty much it, but it will be harder to attain than said. but i liked the satisfaction i get after doing them, so i guess i can do it.

i want my shirts to fit better on me.

SUNDAY.

2009-07-05T16:18:00.002+08:00

LARRY - well today we finished shifting the stuff in my room, and rearranged it twice, before everybody was happy about it. i couldn't quite care less; all i wanted was to settle the stuff down so i could relax and be at peace. now my room's all spaced up, and i have my speakers and sub-woofers next to me, so i can really enjoy the bass. too bad the position of my speakers makes my music resonate throughout the whole house even more.

now my room is of a cool, and actually rather deep green. my dad says it would make me feel more relaxed and not be so hot-headed, but i don't quite feel it. i just like the space i can use for doing my weights.

finally took some time to tune the equalizer in itunes so that my third rate creative speakers could sound a step better. well it did sound better, but i guess i proved even tweaking the settings couldn't make miracles.

was doing my ECOM BreadTalk assignment, and just taking a break from it to do my post.

end of the day.

2009-07-03T22:53:00.002+08:00

LARRY - today was like every other day - mundane and unexciting, which then i trotted slowly to class. i still had my AGM script to be confirmed with xanier and my WSS presentation to be read through again, so i got to it. both turned out okay,except for my presentation - we had our content all wrong. well, at least our lecturer gave us a passing grade.

off to lunch and pretty much waited for the next class. stoned for a an hour, and later revised a little on the ECOM test. told my mates to get gym stickers so that they could use the school's gym, and i could have them along when i went. i really want to improve on my physical outlook on that part.

i loved the lift at our block, and we had fun being in a completely darkened lift. we should have taken our chance to have a little fun with that girl that came in with us when it was pitch black. )=

went home and napped, and awakened cranky. ate instant noodles with vegetables that were twice as much as the noodles and helped out my dad to do the finishing touches on his room. he painted his room today, and he did a great job at it. tomorrow's going to be my room, and i'm going to be stuck dirty helping him for the whole day. but i'm not complaining; there is going to be improvements in my room regarding floor space and having a windier and cooler room.

still felt a little restless and crabby, so i used it on my weights. i know i should have rested after having a good bout yesterday, but hey it feels good pushing all my negative vibes out. besides, i'm getting chubby, and now i have the momentum going, it would be easier for me to keep at it, unlike while in secondary school. and yes, i couldn't touch my neck again!

settled down and had a second bowl of yoplait strawberry yogurt (i had one after dinner,) and did my post for the day.

i'm still hungry.

2009-07-02T22:41:00.003+08:00

LARRY - got back home, was feeling a little overwhelmed by fatigue and irritation, as my dad was in my room patching up the holey walls left behind by the aircon installation crew. I cant get to my bed to nap and it was so fricking warm there. I held my sore annoyance in, and went to surf the net. I then did a little reading up on anablic steroids and their side effects, and i also check to see whether people could actually get steroids for recreational purposes. I guess not, but from what i know, it multiplies the effort put into exercise, and growth of every tissue, every cell accelerates at an astonishing speeds. No wonder athletes always get caught with it.

Another interesting fact i found out is that testosterone is also a kind of androgenous steroid, which i thought as much, since if testosterone levels determine how athletic a person is. feeling a little hyped, i went on to do weights. and today's results turned out to be pretty good, even though i'm really tired.

i know when i did a good enough job at it if i cant touch my neck after doing it. and i had a hard time cleaning my neck when i was bathing. went out and met my sis, aunt and gma for dinner at the essential brew, where my sis works.

dinner was fantastic, and we also had the frolic yogurt which was at the opposite end of the essential brew. went home shortly after, and went on to complete my WSS assignment. did it for half and hour, and it was good to go. it was only five minutes past ten, so i did a couple of sets more to see whether i could take it. died at 3 more, but it felt great.

i haven't completed AGM script and ECOM assignment, so i shall get to it after this.

somehow i feel something's missing. i need something, but what? and it isn't the headphones.

GRADO.

2009-07-02T13:38:00.004+08:00

LARRY - i am so tempted to get the grado headphones i wanted. recently have been searching forums and like millions of websites to check for the lowest price for it, but it seemed like it was quite stuck at 260 dollars. i have only 160 left in my account, but hey, i guess i should save then spend later.

ugh the sound of the headphones are so alluring. tried the sr80 headphones that was a bump lower than the sr125 i wanted, and i was quite impressed by it. after all, having a better and tighter bass response than my current FC700s is definitely what i wanted, considering the genres of i listen to, and that it was definitely clearer.

damn i got to save pretty soon. my headphones are spoilt at the hinges already.

Song.

2009-06-25T14:40:00.003+08:00

LARRY - last two weeks or so, nothing much did happen, except that TEAM LMGT had badminton training on last wednesday. i forgot that MDES people were to have a photo taking session, and that shawn and huiping were worried about me. sorry mates!

this week i added quite a number of songs to my library, like trivium, green day, megadeth and killswitch engage. the music make such good buddies with my bullet for my valentine and the hardstyle ones.

can't wait to listen to them until i get bored of them.

cliq-ko outing!

2009-06-17T23:38:00.002+08:00

LARRY - today was cliq-ko outing!well, not exactly, since jiaming couldn't make it. )=
we were to go to suki for buffet, but since we have pinata outing and going half naked, some of us, including me, would like to avoid the heavy eating part for the time being. anybody will tellthey wouldn't feel too good showing flab, nor is seeing any.

we tried to meet at eleven to get kaiyang his gift and plan a little for his little surprise, and headed to heeren and far east to check out stuff. we eventually gots a cap for him at far east, which was pretty cool, with the many colors on it. and since we didn't go to the buffet, we ate at some muslim stall and had lunch there.

we headed back to cineleisure and watched "the taking of pelham 123. pretty sweet it was, being a thriller and all the swearing. i just laughed my ass off through the whole movie. i guess i could give it a eight out of ten for it.

we then split up and the remaining went to penin, and had dinner at pastamania at funan. headed home on a really slow bus, and was back home a wee bit off ten. packed the stuff i need for our outing, and tried on the red bull singlet. i felt it was rather tight on chest area, since i wear a slight different kind. i just got to get used to it. it was pretty sweet too, being red and all, but what i liked most was that the shirt length and width on the whole was almost perfect.

i want get to bed and sleep. i shall wake up and get my tan and have fun in the sun!

good friend!

2009-06-14T22:25:00.003+08:00

LARRY - today was a pretty cool day - i learnt how to play maximum tune and almost fully tuned my car, which was a 350Z. and yes, i would'nt be so crazy to spend so much, without the help of my long-time friend, paul.

we used to play all the time together when we were primary school kiddos. and we were like the noisiest people around; we were always calling out for each other from the playground whenever we had the chance to come down and play. yesterday he gave me a beep and asked me to go talk to him. i gladly obliged, since we havent seen each other in months, and he was in the army too. man, werent we reminiscing about us as kids. we talked about girls, sex and life, but hey my buddy there is still lost. wished i could help him, but for now i shall just at least be there if he needs me, be it company or just to talk.

he's a pretty cool person, but most of the time lonely and lost in his thoughts. the first time i met him, he was playing his digimon yada yada devices and so i just approached him and we just mixed good. and what's so special about him as a brother, is that he always looked out for me. there was this time when we were primary 4 and 5 this kid who stayed in the next block punched me in the face, he just threw himself in him and gave him hell. damn, he fucking jumped in and saved my sorry ass. thanks man.

so yea we went to jurong point and we just sat there in the seats for darned 3 hours straight, and before that we played for an hour and had lunch. he was a better and faster learner - he cleared the stages really fast, and with a low failure rate, and i was the opposite. oh well. he topped up a nice hundred, and i put in a thirty, but in all we were left with a fair amount in the card about four hours of gameplay. we shall get to it next time, when he books out of camp.

thanks man, you showed selflessness to a kid who was too honest, too down to earth and a dumbass. i hope this post gratifies you. (=

Ummm...

2009-06-12T22:52:00.002+08:00

LARRY - so today's the end of the week. It has been quite a great week, but i feel that something is missing. Oh well it comes when it comes. I still have a lot to do for the next two weeks ahead.

Today we went to school for warehouse visits, which is obviously pretty much a bore, except when we tried out the MHE equient. Damn did the reach machine bring us high up! We came to school at about 9.30, but the whole trip ended at 3.30. So with so much time, we decided to hop to jurong point's arcade. And when i meant we, i mean team LMGT people and not the whole class. I quite peeved by the faslct that they do not participate in much of our class bonding activities. I mean, why act so grown up? You guys are no fun man. So we played basketball and silent hill. Was it good fun! We headed home and that was quite it for the day.

Got to get more sleep. I'm not a very fun person when i'm all grouch.

ice cream buffet - ugh.

2009-06-10T22:13:00.002+08:00

LARRY - well wednesday it is, and we did i do today? i had ice cream buffet.

make no mistake - i had a total of fourteen scoops of ice cream. the ice cream wasn't really nice, but hey, it's not everyday you eat ice cream like nobody's business. novena's velocity is actually quite a treat there, with all the sports gear shops and camping stuff. i really liked the S-shaped carrabiner, and the super compact and small sleeping bag.

yesterday four of us TEAM LMGT guys went to ECP, which the people are Ah Fa, Ren Sheng, Teng Teng and i. sweet shit that is. it was Fa's birthday, and we gave him a fries cake at macdonald's. we went for a four hour ride from ECP and beyond changi beach, where we stopped at changi village place for sugarcane. on top of that, we got to catch planes landing and taking off! sweet shit that was.

on our way back, we were going to pass a group of secondary school girls,and guess what? they were singing nobody! i sang along, and it appeared that heard me, and waved to me. of course, i waved back. they loved me.

we had traveled a total distance of 48 kilometres, back and forth. the guys had muscle aches and ass aches, while i had knee pain. that sucked a lot.

it was pretty fun being there and just be crazy cycling the whole of the east coast. TEAM LMGT is going back there every week to train, i tell you.

Sunday.

2009-06-07T23:29:00.006+08:00

LARRY - so today was another fine, weird day to go back to school, but at least the buses to school isn't full. so us mugger guys met at noon, and we started talking nonsense before we really started studying. out of the six hours we were there, we only gotten 2 hours of revision, tops. the other four hours? facebook stealing plant crops, and sharing nun jokes.

we ate hell lot of tidbits, drank millions of cans of sweet, fattening goodness of carbonated water, and also had pandan bread. i never knew our guys and myself were that crazy, talking pure trash and just out to disturb one another. suddenly through my revision, i realized my test is very likely to be easy. hurrah. everyone is sure to go off at 12, after just an hour through the test. either we know it, or we don't.

so at about five forty-five, i headed home, and had early dinner. these guys seemed like they didn't know they haven't taken lunch yet.

you know, i have been thinking: would i have a wife in the very foreseeable future? seemed pretty unlikely, since strangely my guy senses seemed dulled, but pretty girls don't quite cut it anymore. HAHAHA. actually the main thing is that would we want to have children? i mean, being all pain and noisy but extremely cute for the first 5 years, what good are they? i still don't quite understand that part.

i'm about to start the bottle going. my dumbass-ed test is going to be sitch, with the help of my mates of the class. eight o'clock at the atrium, find me, when you need to disturb me.

'phones!

2009-06-06T22:35:00.005+08:00

LARRY - so today was another weird day to go to school. my classmates and i intended to go there to study for our upcoming OPC test, with i think, is going to be shitty, since we only have to memorize 3 chapters and actually even without memorizing them, we could pass this shit. i mean, wen fa had gotten a 62% without even touching the theory part!

so we were supposed to reach school at 9.30. i came at 10. i felt so grand when i met up with my folks at cheers. damn, were they bored stiff waiting for me. we went to the library and smuggled 3 cups of bubble tea up to the 3rd level, where we hid the deepest corner of the level, only to find two cameras overhead. after 5 minutes of hiding my own, i put it onto th table, for all to see, especially the black, indian woman who gave out warning slips to us. so alright we stayed from 10 till about 3, which then some of us split for home, while three of us went to KAP for their lunch. i finally had mcflurry there, and were didn'c continue studying. we just our overpriced meals and went home.

how fun was that?

same old, same old...

2009-06-04T19:46:00.002+08:00

LARRY - like what i have put on as the title of this post, it's the same old, same old thing everyday, and that's being really bored.

so today felt like a weird day - i only brought notes and my headphones, and that's that. today our class had Services Marketing test and a OPC quiz, which both went quite bad. you know, to crap your way through a test never meant quite well for anyone. and as for the quiz - well, before that i was talking nonsense for two whole hours, and to be able to score a 65% was pretty good, or at least i think. and another reason why today seemed like a strange day to go to school - it's because we have to wait three whole hours, and an additional half an hour since we had finished our SMRKT test early, for our quiz. damn, the waiting was no fun when you have nothing on hand; no psp, no laptop, no notes even, no nothing. and you guys wonder why i was talking completely irrelevant stuff.

so came and went our quiz, and lingli and i headed to the the adjacent room, where most of the guys are, and that we are going to be either SLs or GLs for the trip. weird it is, but i guess we are not going to do much there except to have fun. met shiuan shiuan on the way home, and she told us she would be joining us for the pahang trip as a camper. man, now isn't going to be extremely funny to be the GL to our senior?

so home it is, and why i am always hungry seemed like a question that nobody comprehends, and neither can i. i still have an ECOM tutorial question to attempt before i can hit the bed for the day.

GOSH, someone, bring me to liberation!

2009-06-02T15:46:00.003+08:00

LARRY - gosh, i have never ever felt so darn bored before! i was so bored until i had the urge to do the laundry. damn, life is sucky for the moment.

even the newspaper reporters seem to have nothing good to report - their newspapers has never been that thin either! i must find something good to do for my holidays, if not i'm quite good as committing suicide.

though there's no school tomorrow, i'm still going, and our classmates and i are going to study for our service marketing module's test that's on thursday.

oh yea, good thing is, my class has only one common test, bad news is, we, as a class, don't have much of a plan to spend together. east coast park and wild wild wet will be good, but it's only two occasions where we can get together.

darn, i need a tan.

Monday!

2009-06-01T14:10:00.003+08:00

LARRY - today was a pretty much the same monday as always - everything was the same, same modules and same shit. damn let's all have something for a change. and i don't mean e-learning; it was a total drag, man.

let's hope no one in ngee ann gets the pig flu virus, if not we are all in for another spectacular few weeks at home, doing our assignments. i still want our pinata outing you know. in class now, munching on cookies and realizing that i have posted at the wrong place for e-learning. luckily for me,our lecturer was talking to me on MEL so she gave me a tick for my attendance. hurray!

i want to go gym again soon! i feel all yellow and frail. i haven't been in good action with the guys for quite a while now, but i guess i can return to doing the crazy stuff as we always do.

uh oh, too much chocolate from the cookies is giving me a headache!

Going Back!

2009-05-31T15:54:00.004+08:00

LARRY - woo wee, it is a darn boring weekend, and i'm looking forward to going back to school and be bored there. was playing the neopets game 'evil fuzzles from the stars" on my laptop's touchscreen, and it was pretty good, but still, i didn't know my base of operations could be so unjustly mundane. oh well, it's only one more day to school. cleaned out my table, psp and laptop, and looks like i'm good to go.

just checked with one of my mates and there's an assignment that due on 7th june. whoopee! i guess it's something to do then. and there's a test for us guys on tuesday, which obviously, i don't stand much a chance of passing. damn, that module quizzes on MEL made me scream with agony, and i only pulled through thanks to teng teng's answers, and for the test we are going to have four essay questions. now that's very motivating.

heck, what's for dinner?

new!

2009-05-29T20:53:00.003+08:00

LARRY - okay recently hadn't really been good for me. i was like in a daze, as if i wasn't aware of what's happening around me. luckily for me, that's over, and i guess i can start gym-ming with the guys pretty soon.

e-learning week isn't exactly fun. i mean, it was kinda difficult to see whats to be done, and thanks to huiping, she helped me do an ecomm assignment, and told me of other that has to be done. thanks a whole lot, girl!

it's already the end of the week, and went past my speaking with impact presentation. it was kinda daft, having a teammate who was never there and suddenly was dere to take charge of the whole thing and changed everything the rest of us had planned. oh well, at least everything went okay.

the test period is about to come pretty soon, and woo-wee, we only have an OPC for our test, then its the holidays for us! hurrah! i could really catch up on gym and badminton i had missed this past one and a half weeks.

recently still, no physical attraction of somewhat. it actually feels good being free and all, with no one to bother you around and stuff. but i have been thinking about the certain relationships that were going on. i certainly thought it was weird, but who am i to say that.

anyways, i did like to thank those who took care of me when i was quite down, both sick and down emotionally. thanks guys. i never did knew you guys would do so much for me. thanks a hell lot guys!

desensitized?

2009-05-20T14:02:00.005+08:00

LARRY - haven't been blogging regularly these days, since i was down with a really persistent fever, and even today it was still coming down quite hard. at least i still have the appetite to eat, and a lot at that.

the feeling of my attachment to her is gone. it is great, but the thing is that now i have very much "reduced" reaction to most stuff, even to the funny, dirty jokes. its not that i have gone emo or something (i never liked emo), but it would seem a little alarming. maybe the fever has burnt my soggy grey matter dead.

oh well, i hope it's temporary.

update!

2009-05-18T10:09:00.003+08:00

LARRY - the camp over the weekend was pretty cool,but more or less was pretty boring. at least we had an in depth view of our personalities and inclinations and what's not.

i do not really understand what is their intention of splitting all the acad societies into different groups, but what i do know is that we could learn from the bonding with almost pure strangers, but since we are going to meet up as a society, aren't we to bond now even closer as one?

the only part that i really enjoyed was being in the loft. make no mistake, it is not the place that i'm appreciative of, but they way the guys took care of me when i wasn't well. thanks a mighty lot! i wouldn't be okay for huiping's birthday if it weren't for them, i'd still be tossing in my bed.

the birthday was pretty alright, and that we had great photos of our MDES people altogether. nice. wait, we missed out poor xanier. )=

after that most of them were talking about stuff about MDES, while some of us, including me, went to sleep first. Ugh, the fever is really taking a lot out of me.

So the next day was rather quick and stuff, and soon we were home and resting for the next day.

another ugh day.

2009-05-15T10:19:00.001+08:00

LARRY - yesterday was a pretty cool day- it was the soul of entertainment perfromances, and our nicholas was participating in it.

unfortunately he did not quite get into the first three positions, but heck, we had a wild time making fun of most of the chi-na contestants, like the one who sang my heart will go on, the really short dress one, and my personal favorite - the one who sat on the stage and gave us the look when our freshmen made fun of her. nice!

the whole event ended pretty late, and we headed to macdonald's for dinner. i went home first, but even so, i reached home at 11.20. ate instant noodles and went to sleep.

it seems i have not be desensitized yet. but heck, i am tired of this. i would really want to do weights to steam it off, but i am feeling so weak because i'm fucking sick.

tomorrow's the camp for us, and i haven't told my parents about it. they are sure gonna have a fit about it, and the cost of the camp. (=

Its telling something...

2009-05-14T09:23:00.003+08:00

LARRY -its telling me something. What do i really want? My feelings for have diminished significantly. So why am i having such dreams, and the adverse reactions to it?

For the past two days, my dreams were mainly focused on us both, but the former was that she ended up in a not so favorable state, while the other was what every couple would want - just being alone, together. And the weirdest thing is that these dreams occurred between seven to seven thirty. Cool huhs? Seems like my dream state is in that period of time.

Today's couple-y dream was pretty much how i look at our relationship, and it happened pretty much the way i had with my former one. Definitely my dream, alright. It seems i might have been desensitized towards fact that she is going for another person and is almost crazy about him. When she talks about him, it does not hurt, nor pisses me anymore. Nice!

Now i'm in class, and only less than half the class turned up. What do we expect - we are only here for two hours, and the lecturer talks to himself. I would have stayed at home, if it was peaceful back there. Am looking forward to SOE later, and we are going as the all singaporean blacks. Hope kevin will not shun us...(=

Thanks Men.

2009-05-12T23:06:00.002+08:00

LARRY - first and foremost, thanks guys, for giving me your utmost support, and i would also like to thank my parents, gramps, gran, for this opportunity... NAH.

but seriously thanks men. felt the love, but i guess i know it better myself that she wants that person, and that i saw her head over heels man.i can already see it blossoming. it's just way beyond me, and i have made my decision, and i'm just going to stick to it.

i have quite much got over it already, and i feel less of the attraction already. even to myself, it was pretty fast. heck, i should be getting over. no point crying over split shit man.

today was a worn out day for me. i didn't sleep early nor well for the past week and it's showing beneath my eyes. my chest and triceps was pretty tight today, but it felt good, i tell ya. inevitably slept in class today, and was in the course manager's lesson. pretty nice of him to let me sleep in front of him.

after school i went with lingli and huiping to the job interview place, and then after some walking around in tiong bahru plaza, we settled for dinner, and went home. did a little homework, and then to this post.

That's It.

2009-05-11T22:53:00.003+08:00

LARRY - i feel fucked. i would like to cry, but doing so ain't gonna help. i finally confirmed what i thought,and prayed it will not, but it did. i guess it isn't me to just take it lying down.

but i have to consider her feelings, and with that, i will finally give up. there are always more out there. ending up like kaiyang is gonna hurt both sides, but seriously, the man's following his heart, but oh well. and so, why not just be quiet and then no one else gets harmed by my actions. yea, it would be much better.

i am just a chauvinistic pig. it was stupid of me to be so confident, and i treated girls like so gullible and be pushovers. they are damned humans too, for god's sake. and another thing i suddenly remembered, what a girl ultimately, wants, is to be in control of her life; to be free. i will not tether her to my ropes of my heart.

i'm pretty sure they will turn out pretty alright together, and that i guess they seem more suitable being together. why force her? if i really do care, i will fuck off, and leave it. i just have to concentrate on what's important, and that's developing myself. i shouldn't feel so annoyed either, since i made my choice.

i guess it's better to just slither away silently, and with that, good luck, and all the best. if she's happy, so am i.

let's go Hand of Blood.

Blog Not Neglected!

2009-05-10T22:50:00.004+08:00

LARRY - haven't been updating, and so, here goes.

Friday, 8th of May
today was it was rather mundane... was really tired and everything, but at least we had ecomm later, which i think, was gonna be cool. we wasted about half an hour for WSS because they had a mix up regarding classes, and we finally gots a class room on the fifth floor, and it seems pretty under-used, since the room still smelt heavily of paint.

had lunch with the pinata gang, for which we gots lunch and went to canteen one to makan. other people were already, which i think was pretty smart of them, avoiding both the crowd and smell of the air-conditioned Makan Place.

after that, we set off to the clubhouse, but i had to go to the SSC to return the blazers, teng teng and mine. i forgot to return the badge that was on the tie, and only found out after the meeting we had, so monday it is for the lost one. headed to the clubhouse and played around for half an hour or so, then went to ecom class.

headache struck, and was pretty poofed by then. ate a whole lot of sweet stuff, and i was back on track. after four o'clock, and campmates started to come in and get extra classes. laughed till five, and waited for the meeting to commence.

meeting was actually a bore. was starting to bite my nails already, until we had to choose our top three positions of the committee. i pretty much chose VP, treasurer and secretary, if i can remember.

met up with the rest, and went to some indian makan place that's opposite of beauty world. ate ice cream bought from macdonald's, talked a little some place nearby, and headed home.

Saturday, 9th of May
today's intentions - to get bermas and fix kaiyang's poor iphone screen. went to penin with kaiyang and stanley, and met up eugene, aiden and hong zheng to see them do jamming. was a pretty funny scene there, and i learnt what was the differenc between a bass guitar and a normal one.

gotten axel to our team, and went down to bugis to search for bermas, but it seemed like the one axel used to go to disappeared. bummer man. lingered for a while, and i headed home.

Sunday, 10th of May
today was mommy's day, and sis and i gotten tickets for our parents to the wolverine movie. it would be pretty cool for them to go out alone, while we did our stuff at home. played dota and did revision with my brother, since his science SA is coming up on wednesday.

went over to gma's for dinner, and ate a hell lot. man, i'm going to be fat in no time. and that's when i decided, i could more veggies, and get more meat over the weekend. that's balanced, i guess, and it will hurt my wallet less. tomorrow's gym too, and i already know what i want to do there. sweet shit, i can't wait for it.

think, thinking, and still giving thought. i feel so dumb-ed down man. but i am already going for it, trust me.

these few days i seem so easily put off, like how i was like in secondary skool, and i really hate it being that way. but, i feel, am able to control my anger better than before, so guess it's plus, but i still gots to work on it.

Fuck the Army Man!

2009-05-08T10:47:00.002+08:00

LARRY - woke up late today, so i was kinda in a rush to get to school. our class had a date for breakfast, which only six of us turned up, but oh well, i got to have a nice makan for the beginning of the day. so i got out of the house and with my hands full with the blazer, phone and headphones. and i was walking through the narrow road within my estate that links to the main road, and i was busy adjusting my headphones and then this fat army motherfucker honked the hell out of me. shocked the fuck out of me, and i just fucking screamed a long sentence of vulgarities at him. he then lowered his fucking car windows and told me, i was on my headphones, and he just wanted to let me know he was there. FUCK, he fucking honked that loud and long. i just fucked off, and swore to scratch his car and spill oil based paint on his fucking red mazda. my dad sure has a lot of paint. headed to school, and was i steaming hot when i reached school.

so i met up with my classmates and complained about him. and headed to class.

Book Prize Presentation Ceremony.

2009-05-07T21:39:00.003+08:00

LARRY - today was the big day, and i was still not quite prepared for it. heck, i thought, it's only emcee-ing. i have done it before, and this time, i shall be better than the last. after all, it's a chance to get known and to impress. i feel that i would help me, like building my confidence and to just practice being an emcee. it was great fun, albeit that i did read names and certain phrases wrongly, but it's still alright. it all about practice.

so wait, let me get to the morning part. so i ate leftover fried rice. the thing is, i had a rice grain stuck on my mouth until i reached school, and nobody told me about it until calvin, i think, told me about it. way to go, larry!

got to class sweating like hell, since i was encumbered by my stuff - badminton racket, bag with three sets of clothes, two pairs of shoes, stuff and stuff. ugh. but hey the day was just great, i tell you.

first class of the day, and i'm already playing my initial d with wenfa. weird thing is, i followed whatever the lecturer was saying, and was the only one giving him replies. it was sweet i tell you. playing psp and answering his questions - a first for me.

so then we got down to badminton. it was great! i mean, taunting junwei and then playing doubles with the girls was just plain amusing for me. we also played drop the racket and dog and bone, and it was pretty good, since it bonded our class even more. then we all got outside and makaned pizza that teng teng ordered. we ate and dilly-dallied a bit, and went to bathe.

so then we headed to class, with the three lecturers waiting for us, since most of the class went for the badminton session. and then we sat in, and about ten minutes and then we headed off for preparation of the prize thing. so here came the prize thing, it ended, and i joined the dancers and SLs and headed to canteen 1, where we celebrated nicholas' birthday. sweet thing is, su shan planned the whole thing. it was so cool.

we ate at the alumni clubhouse place, and as usual, the service was ugh. what to expect from chi-na asses anyways. played around, nicholas showed what his classmates got him, and that it was cool. it was thongs and a really tiny bra, and the colors and patterns on it was just... surprising.

that was pretty much what i did for the day, and i am always thinking about it. and i'm sure you know what that is. seemed so close, but i still have some way to go. it doesn't seem certain for me now, since certain things have happened and made me feel a little less...sure of myself. oh well, it ain't the end of the world, and it definitely ain't top priority yet.

preparation.

2009-05-07T00:19:00.003+08:00

LARRY - ugh wait, what did we do yesterday? i could barely remember. i shall do a quick one on this one, since its late and i will need to rest up for the book prize presentation tomorrow.

Tuesday, 5th May.

all i can remember now is the incident of laptop usage, and the gym part of the evening. gym was pretty good for me, since there was few people there, and that we got to use the dumbbells. did about 5 sets, and i was done. having not eaten much during lunch was taking its toll.

so got about bathing and then headed to whateveryoucallthatmallthatisnearbyngeeann-place to makan. we had KFC, and then headed home. i still had my script to read, edit and type it out so that i can put them on cue cards. i felt that it was pretty good, since it helped me memorize them a little. i did a little packing and slept at 1.

Tuesday morning.

2009-05-05T11:21:00.002+08:00

LARRY - today has kinda sucked so far. I mean, getting threatened by our OPC lecturer for using our laptops was just humiliating. We wore our SL shirts and that really fucked us as leaders, and on top of that, mr low was there to witness it. This will so ruin our rep. But then again, we deserved it. He already warned us about using laptops, and we were just there chatting on msn, and i was backing up my data. Even so, he should not have swiped lingli's laptop. I was there getting pumped up with adrenaline, ready to go if he did anything more drastic than that.

Ugh our rep has been scarred.

Hmmm...

2009-05-04T23:14:00.003+08:00

LARRY - its the end of the day, and there's certain stuff that got me reflecting upon what i have done, and my laptop's outta service, so i will have to do this post on my phone again.

I felt that maybe i'm always too high. Its time to settle and study, i guess. After all, camps long over, friends and mates are always just around the corner, and i havent really been putting effort into my modules. I really need the GPA this semester to raise my average. So i have decided that i will go home earlier, but still go out for gym and the like.

Next is that i have to learn how to control my anger. Lingli had reminded me aboutthis at least twice before, i believe, and that i really do not want to be how i was back in my pre teen years. I know once i got the demonic emotion out, it would be extremely difficult to cage it back in. My resolution - to remain calm and be more patient. You know, the count to ten approach? I guess i shall try it out. I really, really, really do not want people to look at me and then think : dude, there's larry. He's the ass that gets upset pretty easily. Let's avoid him and not get into unnecessary trouble. Ugh! And there's my language. I should swear less and speak more gently. I'm sure everybody will like that.

And for the concluding one, its about limiting the dirty jokes and hand gestures. I know that the dirty jokes are of great impact and are of lots of amusement, but not everyone likes stuff that has to do with genitals. Besides, it would definitely put off most girls, and i certainly do not want that to happen. Either way, i shall just chill and relax and let others tell the jokes.

My feelings are flunctuating again. Ugh, it ain't no fun, i tell you. I realize i was just finding excuses.

I love the nike slogan - just do it.

Sunday - studying?

2009-05-03T22:37:00.004+08:00

LARRY - today was a pretty slack day, and that i went to meet up lingli, siyao, erwin and kaiyang for supposedly studying, but ended at 4 and headed to novena to check out clothes and stuff. don't be mistaken - i did my WSS assignment and did the stupid quiz, and read a little on my other modules, and i was quite set for monday.

The novena placewas pretty cool, sports equipment and everything, without the crowd. They have gots an ice cream shop that has buffet for it. we are so gonna have stomachaches.

so we looked around for clothes, then flip flops, and then i had to head back to clementi for dinner at gma's. always hated to go there, to se my aunt and disgusting cousins.

so ate i did quick, and then watched x-men and played patapon till the movie ended, and then went home. tried to fix my laptop again, but still with the same results.

checked online for my facial wash shit, and found out that clementi poly clinic had it. sweet, i thought, and that i do not have to go all the way to mount elizabeth just for the cleanser. went there just this morning, and lo and behold, it was nine dollars cheaper. cool!

my trip to the polyclinic was pretty cool. with the swine flu and everything, it wasn't an uncommon sight to see people donning face masks and aprons. practically all the staff members there wore them and we had to fil up a declaration form and had our temperature checked. i had gotten a cute green round sticker for that.

so after getting the cleanser, i headed to the bus stop, and met up with lingli, yihong and my dear edy and we all headed to school.

school today was rather mundane, but somehow it had been a little better. lessons didn't seem as pointless as last year, and now i here at block 51 having an hour of break time, so i'm doing up my post for the day.

i'm still thinking.

I repeat, laptop is going down...

2009-05-02T21:58:00.004+08:00

LARRY - [may the 1st] my notebook's gone down, so i haven't been updating for that past two days. it sucks to use the house computer to use, since the keyboard's too small for my fat fingers, and the computer is celebrating it's 5th birthday this year.

so what i wanted to do was to install the norton internet security suite on my notebook, but after installation and lo and behold, it cranked up. oh well, it's time for a visit to the service center anyways.

so what i did on thursday is that i played badminton in my three hour break, and it was great fun. then met up with fellow campmates and its off to gym! we eventually got our gymwerks applications registered and we were okay for the facility. it was state of the art, i tell you. you could hell watch TV and run at the same time. now that is motivating. now i understand why the gym users usually look down and jog on the treadmills and not stare blankly ahead.

sweet exercise machines they have there too, and that it actually felt good using them, albeit the weirdness about the motions of it. before that we had a brief jog on the track and i had my timing taken. it was a sad fourteen minutes. i better do more jogging in my spare time.

had dinner and we that was quite much the end of the day.

[may the 2nd]
LARRY - yesterday was a boring day, for i really just stayed at home and lazed around. the annoyance of my muscles aching felt great. this day i just ate a lot, and slept a lot. did practically nor achieved nothing, just that i tried to revive my notebook, but it seems i can only access it through safe mode. i can't even use half of my applications in there.

[may the 3rd]
LARRY - today i went for NP strings... Quite much sucked, but it wasnt for us year twos anyways. We were in camp mode and played gamea and stuff, and it was hell lot of fun. By three we were done and we headed to the alumni clubhouse, since the darn makan place had closed. Why close at 2.30 and not 3? Kinda weird, if you ask me. So there we were talking and had a bite or two, and off to home it was. I was expecting much more of today, but it was alright.

Went home and did weights, ate dinner and blogged this whole poat on my phone. Sweet shit it was, and it's so much more comfortable and faster then using the house computer. Ugh!

I didn't quite know what to feel, but just that i felt the high me was a little too much. Gotta contain my energy, and channel it somewhere where it requires it more.

I still am thinking so hard, but what for? I know what i want, but i do not know what is that that is holding me back. I shall end ot here tonight, ponser it over an hour of patapon and try to understand my strange head of mine.

In IS Class...

2009-04-29T14:53:00.004+08:00

LARRY - bored i was in IS class, so i did half my post in there to while away some time.

the lecturer was telling me i should have memorized my elevator pitch script, and that i should not look so aggressive while i'm presenting. great comments on how i could improve, and since the emcee-ing job is coming up, it would be real handy for me.

in between the lessons, i suddenly felt very fearful and dejected. i was like wondering, why the hell am i feeling like this? i was there thinking: dude, remember, your the man. you aren't gonna be afraid of nothing, nor of anyone. psych-ing up, i felt better. this guy ain't gonna fall so easily.

so liberated the whole class felt, since it was the end of the lesson. sweet home for us! but as for me, i wanted to check some stuff out at queensway, so i headed there. good thing the bus came quite fast, and i didn't have to wait long.

was reading the WSS notes i got from heng yi, then slipped them into my bag. most of the journey there i was nodding off to sleep. it must have been funny for the people to see me nodding off in different directions. oh well, hoped this brightened up their day.

combed the whole of queensway, and soon headed home. the bus was quite full, and that they had a couple of Mats right beside me. they always smelt like cheap cigarettes and talked in some fucked up manner, in an attempt to attract attention. man, like fuck off man. i like my noisy music way better then your nonsensical chatter.

home it was, and then had a great home-cooked dinner. it was nice and it wasn't as oily as the stuff outside. after that was feeling sleepy, and so i went to finish up this post. maybe i shall do another later. relaxation it is!

2009-04-28T22:40:00.002+08:00

LARRY - back at home, miserating about not using the chance. or chances i had.

today was a rather quick day, with time passing pretty fast. first up we had OPC again, and whoo-wee, was the lecturer boring! so we played around, and since we can't use laptops, i went on my phone and used ebuddy to chat. and then cam break time, and we scrambled to use our laptops, and i was fed up with the slow updating of the ebuddy, so i switched back to the proper IM. we only had a few minutes, and then he begun teaching us again. and there i was, still using MSN and unaware about him starting. so he announced to the whole class i was using my laptop and wanted to give me a yellow card. so i told him i wanted a red one, since it preferred the color, and he replied i could do it again, and get it.

oh well, i was bored. after that i felt better, and tried paying attention, to both the lecture and the time. in between this lecture, lingli and i went out to write a little something for the birthday kid, and i would also like to thank the guys who made this possible. sweet shit guys!

off to makan, and we used the next 3 hours filling in the forms for MDES, and that we skipped class in order to hand it up on time. on that, good luck to all that submitted the forms! it sure ain't gonna be easy.

went to WSS class, and that we did lab work and played around even more, and then set off for the clubhouse. the place was in total chaos, with people playing ping-pong with slippers and shoes and other screaming all over. nice! after that, we gathered and got ready to surprise adrian. i don't know of he was surprised, but i think it was amusing.

went to makan place to have dinner, and to enjoy the cake. man, was it funny to see everyone eat off the cake knife. we then used the remaining amount of cake to moisturize the bboy's face. we all think his facial went pretty well.

later, followed karenand joanne to the track, together with huiping, to look after their bags while we did our homework and preparation. you know, the two seniors were actually good at jogging, and they were really focused on doing this. great effort, seniors!

went home, ate a bun, bathed and got about doing my post and IS homework. i'm going to end for the night, and tmr i'm going to school early to study. sweet huhs?

i think i'm set for it. i'm Larry Tan the Man, oozing with confidence i will be, and succeeding i shall!

2nd Week!

2009-04-27T22:14:00.002+08:00

LARRY - first day of the second week, and i'm already feeling tired.

today classes started at 12, and that we were to have a presentation, but the whole class didn't know squat about it. so we went about doing it and had a little fun with my post-its, and then the lecturer told us: "since nobody did a presentation, everyone will get a zero mark for it,"

dude, we didn't know about this shit man.

so fuck it we did, but at least we had our presentation slides done because stephanny and lingli was on the job. took off to makan place and got myself a pau, then the whole lot of us classmates hurried to the next class. wasted time in there, and soon we had the one-hour break till the end of the day.

we met up with the other SLs and freshmen that were to go basket-balling. waited for the 3.45 mark, and headed up to the MDE consultation room to meet Mrs Lee. in the beginning, when she beeped me a text, i was a little worried on why she wanted to see me, or the others, i thought. i assumed that this had something to do with the joanna incident. but in the end, she was just going to ask me about why i joined the SLs for Kaiser camp, PMC and camp pinata, and most importantly, the role of emcee for book prize day. woo-hoo! i always enjoyed being one. it was such fun and stuff, but the audience don't really care about us.

so i hopped off to the worst module and lecturer ever - operation planning and control, and the guy was fucking irrational, boring, and ass-y. i mean, issuing yellow, red and black cards to people who uses their laptops in his class, and will confiscate it. i mean, hell, if he has so much time, why not use the time to improve on how he teaches us, and not waste it on cutting out card sizes and stuff. it was so boring that i slept in his class today. i'm just lucky i didn't drool.

ended class and went to the bball court to check out the guys on how were they doing. and then we lingered a while and some of us followed siyao to the BB primer CCA. i must say it was a waste of time, to everyone.

we went there only to watch videos, skits and lame games, and these didn't even put across the message of what they are, and what do they do as a CCA entity. i don't understand it either, but i tried to be self-highed and tried to enjoy myself, which i did, but in all, i made many of our guys starving and wasted their time. sorry guys, just wanted to see how they were and stuff, but ugh, did i regret it a little.

had a comparatively short dinner with the people, and headed home. my backache was getting annoying again, so i shall change out from my crumpler, and to my backpack.

still thinking, and when i saw the freshmen couple at the bus stop, it got me thinking, "dude, if a guy like him could have a girl, so could we". but hey, i'm not your average guy man, i'm Larry Tan the Man. i could be that, and more. or so i think.